Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be writing about the death of a One Direction member in my mid-20s. Yet here I am, struggling to come to terms with the heartbreaking news of Liam’s tragic passing. Like so many other Directioners around the world, denial has wrapped itself around me, shielding me from the unbearable reality.

I never intended to use Behind The Beat to talk about Liam’s death, but as I reflected, I realized how deeply One Direction shaped the course of my life and career. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I was just 10 years old when I first stumbled upon One Direction after their debut with “What Makes You Beautiful.” Back then, I couldn’t have known how much this group would mean to me, or that 14 years later, I’d still hold them so close to my heart. Liam always stood out to me, with his charm, humour, and endless energy.

Watching One Direction’s rise to fame under Syco and Sony Music ignited a fire in me. It was the first time I realized my dream of working in the music industry—working for or with One Direction. I was only 12 when I wrote about this dream for a school assignment, and for years it became my guiding light. One Direction didn’t just give me music; they gave me friendships that helped me through tough times, like when I switched schools in Grade 6. Thanks to 1D stan Twitter, I found a community that made me feel less alone.

When I was 14, my family took me to Toronto to see One Direction live. That concert changed my life—it sparked my passion for live music. I bought a lanyard pass just to feel like I was part of the team, and now, 10 years later, I get to live that dream with real media passes at shows.